"Hey, could you do me a favor?" He moved the cigarette pack that was between us and slid closer to me on the bench.

Without turning my head I glanced at him, then back at my book. "What do you want me to tell her?"

"What makes you think that's what I want?" I looked up at him suspiciously. He exhaled smoke and chuckled. "Okay, it's just that I thought, and you probably noticed this to, but her energy just seems low tonight and I was wondering if you could mention it to her, or ask Tara to say something."

"She knows, she said the same thing when she got off stage, but I'll still ask Tara to bring it up." I turned back to my book, but only managed to read another few sentences.

"If she knows then why isn't she doing something about it?" he asked me, irritation obviously rising in his voice.

"She's trying. You've been doing this over ten years, this is her first show."

"Yea, but still, we've been working on this show for three months, and I mean, I should at least be able to talk to her about her performance. I love feedback, I want people to tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it. It's important for an actor to feel comfortable enough to come up to a fellow actor and be like 'this is what I need from you in this scene and I'm not getting that, could you try it this way?' You know what I mean?" I did. He took another drag on his cigarette and exhaled slowly. I looked up from my book at the barn red siding, covered in cobwebs full of dead leaves, and debated what to say. "I just don't see why Sue takes everything so personally, like I can't have a conversation with her without setting her off, and Tara's the same way, I mean, she doesn't cry like Sue, but she always gets pissed off." I closed my book, and turned to him. I decided the direct approach was best.

"You talk down to people." Perhaps that was too direct.

His sharp blue eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped open, not in the silly cartoonish jaw-to-the-floor fashion, just a natural action of sheer shock and disbelief.

"What? Who do I talk down to? How?"

"Well… I can't really think of an example off the top of my head, but like everyone, well no, not everyone, like, not Mark, or Tom, or Danny, but Tara and Sue, especially Sue, and… well, me, it's just you kinda come across as, uh, sexist."

His jaw dropped another fraction of an inch and he hadn't blinked. My eyes darted around as my mind desperately searched for something to say. One side of my mouth twitched into a brief and awkward smile.

"No… I mean, I never meant…" His voice was now softer and his speech slower.

"I know you didn't." I felt like a jerk. I had just told someone I admired and adored that he was patronizing and sexist. The fact that it was true didn't make me feel any better. "At least that's what I got, I don't know about anybody else."

"Do you think Tara thinks I talk down to her?"

"Um, yea, well, I know she agrees with me."

"Wow, I had no idea, I feel really bad." He looked down at the dirt encrusted concrete ground.

"…sorry…" I said as I stared at his clasp hands.

"No, I mean, it's ok, I guess I'm glad you told me." He sighed then abruptly sat up straight and flashed me a smile. " I meant feedback on my acting, not my personality flaws though." I smiled back at him. The door creaked open and we both leaned forward to see Tara's head pop out.

"Five minutes, guys." She said, and she started to pull her head back.

"Uh, hey, Tara? Hold on a minute, I uh…" He turned to me as he stood up. "Do you think I should, you know, about what we just, discussed?"

"Um, sure." I had no idea what he meant.

"Okay, so Tara, someone", he glanced at me, then back to her, "pointed out to me that some people think I talk down to them, you being one of them, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. It was probably my attempt… my poorly executed… attempt… to help, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I didn't mean to be disrespectful."

"…It's okay, and thank you, I really… I really appreciate that." She went back inside to continue calling five.

He turned to me. "Same goes for you to, you know. If I offended or upset you, I, well I really didn't mean to."

"It's ok. And I'm sorry if I offended or upset."

"Nah, I'm just going to have a complex now…" he grinned as he turned and headed inside.

[6 October 2008]